Count The Days

I'm so excited for the day to get here, I can hardly wait. Things have been rough, but not as rough as I'm used to so I'm doing very well. Mike and I are going strong. He's my rock right now and I don't know what I'd do without him. He makes me laugh, think and keeps me on my toes. He also showed me what a real man is and I will forever be indebted to him for that.

Last night I spent the night at his place because he's on vacay. I can't wait to move in together because I know we're going to have a lot of fun. We've already found the place and we just need to wait until the lease is up and then it will be what I call The Bi-Racial Brady Bunch!

I think I'm going to call the court tomorrow to see if we can get in sooner than 6/30. I want this damn divorce over and done with. I should've filed a long time ago and I'd be single right now. Damn, I could kick myself for not doing it, but oh well.

I'm beat. I had to be up at 5:30 am to get home and get the girls off to school. I wish I could've come home to sleep, but I had work to do, so I didn't get to. But now, I'm ready.

A Woman`s Gotta Have It

But not this one! At least not until my divorce is final. I have put a moratorium on my sex life until 6/30/10, which is "D Day". I could have been divorced last Monday, but I was in a safe room, waiting for my name to be called and they never came to get me, so our case was moved to 6/30. I told Mike that we would not be having sex until then. He is okay with that (how cool is he??)

So she screwed herself by being in court (I have a restraining order). Mike and I aren't in "Marriage Mode" so we weren't mad, but we did get a HUGE laugh out of it. I wish that he could have been there, but he had to work. I have to go tomorrow for the RO and he has to work tomorrow too, even though it's technically his day off.

Tonight, we're having dinner and a movie ("Avatar") but I'm not looking forward to it because "Avatar" sucks ass!! I am looking forward to family time though. I'm making stir-fry, fried rice and sake. I love Dontaue, Mike (Mike's son) and of course Mike. He loves Chiara, Brianne and of course me!

Last night was Bi-Racial Brady Bunch family night too. We watched the first 9m4d3h of "Avatar", ate pizza, wings and had Smirnoff and candy. I'm happy that I didn't fall asleep watching the movie (OK, I was hoping I would fall asleep watching the movie. I tried everything in my powers to fall asleep but I was so cold, I couldn't.)

Well, I need to start dinner. I wish I had Tylenol PM...

I Wanna Tell U A Bedtime Story Baby

About a girl
About a boy
And all their joy
All the joy they show each other

How to stay in love
How to stay so happy
So many things
So many things
I'm gonna do.

I kind of like the days when Mike is too tired to do anything but sleep because we have deep, meaningful conversations then. Not that we don't talk otherwise, but then there's no expectation of anything else, so we just enjoy talking to each other. Don't get me wrong, the sex is mind-blowing! I don't want to get to a place where we stop talking, learning and growning. I keep stressing that to him so that he knows that I don't want things to go wrong between us. He really is the perfect man for me and after waiting so long for God to bring him into my life, I want him here with me, forever. I mean, really, that's not too much to ask, is it?

So, as we talked, I told him a bedtime story. I love that this relationship has no pressure. We're there for each other and neither of us has unreal expectations. Therefore, the story I told him was about all the things I want to do for him and how I want things to always be a two-way street, where we can be together, but we don't always have to be physically together. I will give him his room and he will give me mine. Even once we move in together, we can still have "me" time, so that the time that we are together are special. I don't want a repeat of my marriage where he did his thing, I did mine and we very seldom met in the middle except for sex. I was busy taking care of everything while he was off having fun and none of the responsibility of being a husband, father and step-father.

I know that Mike won't be like that because he is so hands on with his sons and daughter and even with my two girls. Shoot, if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't even be together. I need to thank them every day! It feels good to be in love. Finally in love and not lust or obligation. I love Mike with everything and he loves me right back!

I'm So Excited

This has been a great week for Mike and I. He asked me to move in with him and I said yes! I'm moving at the end of this month. We spend so much time together already, and I can't wait to be in the same house with him. He keeps bringing up the "m" word, but I'm not ready for that, and quite frankly, I don't think he is either. My divorce isn't final yet and he's only been divorced since September. I'm so happy and lucky to have him.

He is a complete 180 from the kind of guy I usually date. He treats me like a queen. He always tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves having me in his life. Yes, he's even said those, three words, "I love you." I was a little skeptical of hearing it because it is so unlike my previous relationship. I told him that it freaked me out, especially when he said it while we were making love. But, when he kept saying it, outside of the bedroom, then I got used to it.

He just goes above and beyond what I have ever had. I told him that I'm not used to being taken care of and that's what he does. He had to sit me down and say, "Listen, I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going to hit you and while I can't promise we won't fight, because we will, I don't ever want to lose you." What?? I'm was blown away. An adult relationship where I can feel free to talk and not be in fear of being beat? This is what I've been waiting for!

So, when he asked me to move in with him, I said yes. I enjoyed being a wife, when things were good, and while those days were few and far between (he couldn't fit me in while he was cheating and doing drugs!) I want that again. I told Mike to expect a lot from me because I enjoy cooking and cleaning, doing laundry, etc. Plus he works 14-16 hour days and why should he have to come home and do those things?

Finally, my life seems to be going in the right direction. God really does answer your prayers when you're patient.

Pink Cashmere

I LOVE YOU! WTF?!

Here's a little hint guys: don't tell a woman that you're in the middle of having sex with, that you love her! It completely throws off their rhythm. Trust. Really, it was awkward, especially since I'm not an "ILY" type and hearing it makes my skin hurt. Yes, every square inch of it, especially when I should be enjoying myself! Honestly, how the hell is a man going to say those three words: In. The. Middle. Of. Sex?! Oh, and it wasn't a mistake because he said it more than once. Sure, love aspects of my body or what I'm doing, but not me and not during sex. Am I weird or is this not the time to say that? I'm old fashioned so I've never done certain things: had sex on the first date, had a one-night stand and hearing it so soon makes me anxious. I didn't know what to do/say, so I didn't say anything. "Ditto" came to mind, but I thought that would be even more weird then him saying it to me.

Even with the verbal slip of the tongue, we still ended up having a great time. Yes, I really like him, but I'm not at the love stage yet because I don't know him well enough.

Pink Cashmere

Enough Cryin'

I miss the little things about being married...talking while cooking dinner, doing laundry, laying in bed, falling asleep next to the person I love, and sex! I miss being able to have sex when I want! Having it as close as neighbors is good too. Plus, I can go home when I want to, and I don't have to worry about him wanting to spend the night.

What am I going to do when we live in the same house? I'm going to need a separate bedroom.

Pink Cashmere

What Goes Around

I decided that this time, I'm not going to do anything as I normally would. I'm going to be opposite-George! Yes, every situation is related to a "Seinfeld" episode! I'm really lucky that I have Mike in my life. The girls made a good pick, so I don't want to screw this one up. Plus, after so many years of not doing things right, I want to have this one last.

I miss meeting and talking outside, under the stars. When you stop talking, you stop learning. That's the secret to any relationship: don't ever st0p talking, listening and you'll never stop learning about the other person. Once you stop, you're telling the other person you no longer care. It's easy to forget these simple rules when it seems easier to text, email or post on a wall.

Mike and I continued our meetings under the stars. We went out for drinks on Thursday and then went back to his house. I broke all of my own rules and it felt good!

Pink Cashmere

Brooklyn's Finest

Mike and I texted each other throughout the few days he was in NYC. I felt terrible while he was gone...headache, fever and chills that kept me in bed almost the entire time he was gone. I had the beginnins of a migraine while taking him to the airport and it didn't get any better when I got home and could sit in the dark, cool comfort of the bed.

Mike's daughter picked him and his son up from the airport. He brought him over so that I could meet him and he's very nice. Like father; like son. They were going to a movie and I wasn't going to be able to see Mike until the next day.

Mike came up the next day, dressed up and looking so hot! He really is the turning out to be my perfect guy. Funny, sweet, great kisser, a talker, and I'm into him. What more could I ask for? Things are going along nicely.

Pink Cashmere

Hello Beautiful

Mike called me and said that he had landed safely in NYC. He said he would text me while he was there and he missed me already. How could things be going this well, so soon? Well, I told myself that I was going to do everything the exact opposite of the way I would normally do things. I was going to be like George Costanza from "Seinfeld"! It worked out well for him and so far in my life, going with my instinct had worked out poorly.

I was sick, so when I got the call, I went right to bed. In fact, I ended up spending the entire weekend in bed with the worst migraine and flu in the world. I only left the house to take B to her guitar lesson.

Mike called when he landed back in town. He also came up and introduced his son to me. He looks so much younger than nineteen! But he's cute and polite; something rare in young men these days. They were going to see "Brooklyn's Finest". Funny, that's what B was seeing with my sister, her boyfriend and his nephew. Me? I was going back to bed to try and feel better.

Is it possible that I've finally found a man and not a bad boy??

Pink Cashmere

You Had Me At Airport

Mike knocked on the door at around 3:30. He was still in his uniform, looking very hot. I don't know what it is about a uniform, but they get me all hot. Plus, it helps that he's easy on the eyes, or as my grandmother used to say, 'He can eat crackers in my bed any day.'

We walked down to my car, which is really a car that looks like two cars having sex. (I'm not going to lie; I spent an hour vacuuming and cleaning it because his car is pristine looking.) He put his bag in the back seat and got into the passenger seat and we started on the way. My being Rain Man, rode over the curb!

"I'm a very good driver. Wapner's on at 4. I get my underwear at K-Mart." Gees, could I be any more of a doofus??

Anyway, I got us onto the interstate fine, and traffic seemed to be going our way, but what seems, isn't always what is. Of course, there was a huge traffic jam. He was probably thinking that he should have rode a bicycle to the airport with the way I was driving! Well, it wasn't me, it was the other driver's and their damn breaking and going; breaking and going. Ugh! You know what I mean.

Back to the drive. It really is nice to drive and talk to someone. I like to be looking at the person I'm talking too, which is not what the FHP recommends when you're behind the wheel. We talked a little bit about music (we both like Rap). We also talked about marriage and kids. (We both have been married and have kids - his are older and mine are still with me.) There were long, silent pauses. Awkward pockets...

He rubbed my leg, which sent shivers through my body! I haven't been with a man since May of 2009. No, I haven't decided I wanted to be a nun. And no, I don't have a wart on my nose, or any other disfigurement. I decided after my last relationship I wanted time to myself. I was married and I still had issues that I needed to work through with that. Even now, I still find myself not trusting people; men especially. I don't know that I ever really will. I question everything. Pat, my last boyfriend is really the only guy that I didn't have that issue with. Maybe that was because we've known each other for sixteen years. I loved him as a friend before a boyfriend.

Once I finally got him to the airport (JetBlue) he hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, got his bag from the back seat, got back into the passenger seat, leaned over and kissed me on the lips.

Pink Cashmere.

Sometimes You Have To Trust Your Kids!

I've lived in the same apartment for a year and my daughters, 12 and 7 have been bothering the man downstairs since he moved in a few months ago. (I'm not sure when he moved here - maybe August? I do know that I noticed him when he moved in because he is extremely handsome and he takes very good care of his car!) I also noticed that he was moving in with someone who could have been his son and there were no women in site.

I had said hello a few times and I did notice a woman getting into his car and I didn't want to get into deep conversations with him because of that. My husband was a chronic cheater so I didn't want to step on any toes. However, my girls, behind my back, were talking to him, and talking me up. It took a few months but they finally told me what they had been doing and they said he wanted my number! The oldest one gave it to him, since the youngest one doesn't know it and he said he would call. Oh yeah, the youngest one, C, also told him that I thought he was hot. He told her to tell me he thought I was beautiful.

Guess what! He texted me that night and he then called. I was ironing and making C's lunch so I didn't hear the phone ring, but when I saw my light blinking (perv's that's nothing sexual!) I immediately called him back, but he was in bed. He has to be up for work early so he goes to bed early. However, he did text me on and off the next day and when he got off of work the next day, he came down to see me. He is so hot in person. He's a thinner A-Rod. He said he was going to New York City to because his son was moving here to live with him.

I had things to do so we kept it short but he did call later that night and asked if I could take him to the airport the next day. Of course I said yes. I was thinking to myself that I'd love to be alone with him in a car for an hour. Too bad that it was moving. (OK, that was so not me! I have never had a one-night stand or sex on the first date.) So I told him to come upstairs and get me when he was ready to go.

Pink Cashmere